A quick Google search will reveal hundreds, if not thousands (if not tens of thousand), of websites that feature “The List”.

You know the 5,10, 20 signs and symptoms of a Twin Flame relationship?

Yes, THAT list.

We’ve all seen these at some point, and frankly they have never sat well with me. I find they all sound quite the same, as if thousands of Twin Flame Healers and Coaches have simply copied and pasted some original from somewhere at some point.

And to be honest, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if this is exactly what has happened.

I have never felt truly comfortable with these lists, neither have I ever taught them in my years of work coaching and supporting those who profess to be on the Twin Flame Journey, neither have I used them to assess my own Twin Flame status.

The one time I did adhere to “the list” was back in 2007, and I was sucked into an unrequited love nightmare of epic proportions and was locked down there for nearly 5 years.

As someone who has coached and supported hundreds of people from all over the globe with navigating a Twin Flame situation, I have always had a problem with these lists, as I find them to be quite oversimplified, ambiguous, and, to a large extent, dangerous because the overwhelming majority of the alleged signs you see in these lists are true for several relationship dynamics, including Narcissistic Abuse.

Signs such as “You feel like you are going crazy” or “you have never felt such an intense connection” can be a slippery slope for someone who is suffering from LDS (Love Deprivation Syndrome), has deep unhealed emotional trauma, or is co-dependent, and hasn’t secured Love for Self and within the Divine,

If you have ever studied the dynamics of Narc abuse or enmeshment with a sociopath, intensity and a larger than life presence or love bombing that brings on a “high” is commonplace, as these types of people have a knack for mirroring back whatever they think you need to see to hook you in.

I have had several Narcs in my life and each and every time there was this super intense “magical knowing” around their presence when I first met them.

Additionally, there is typically an intense feeling of “knowing” or familiarity that come with karmic connections as well. You feel like you know them before….because you did!

After nearly a decade of carefully unpacking the Twin Flame narrative and being open to the Truth about it, I have seen these lists, and various aspects of these lists become the lure for many a spiritual seeker looking for an explanation around an unusual connection, and the information discovered becomes the consciousness trap that ultimately ends up sucking them into a spin cycle with an individual who is not only not their Twin Flame, but are keeping them stuck in their Pain Body, looping around in emotional trauma and believing they HAVE to, because….you know, Union.

The magical Union that will (maybe) happen someday and instantly all of these magical benefits will activate once it does.

It is for this reason I wanted to tackle this subject matter from an entirely different angle by highlighting the signs you are NOT dealing with a true authentic Twin Flame.

My 3 year old Lila loves playing with paper dolls. We have a blast together playing with them. Affixing a ballerina costume, or a bathing suit on the neutral person underneath, we magically turn them into a ballerina, or a fire fighter, or a princess.

Without affixing the costume, they are neutral, but they come to life as we place what we desire upon them.

In a similar way, I have found that many are affixing “Twin Flame Clothing” onto a Karmic Sniper, or a Narcissist, or a soulmate, or just someone with whom we share strong magnetism, and as they do, this is all they see, and not the truth of the situation that is often dangling right in front of their faces (or leaving them behind in the rear view mirror with someone else in the passenger’s seat).

Many have dressed the other person up as a Sacred Love when that person has not earned such a title, as they place all of their hope on this Magical Union that never seems to happen.

Other times there is certain levels of targeting and hyperdimensional manipulation going on in the form of the False Twin Flame Interfacing System, or Reptillian Interface, but I will save that topic for some other time.

(Or you can just click here to listen to my free call on 10 Things Your Twin Flame Teacher Won’t Tell You)

I share this with the hopes and intent that knowing this will save you loads of time and energy as I have seen the obsession with another (under the guise of being a Twin Flame) completely take over ones focus and life, fueled by ambiguous signs from well meaning but nonetheless misguided Healers and Coaches who are simply parroting what they have heard or read elsewhere, rather than going straight to God/Source for downloads and clarification.

After all, when people love you, they tell you the truth, and not just what makes you feel good and comfortable.

And of course, you are free to reject everything stated here and follow whatever trajectory feels best to and for you, but I do hope at the very least you will pray for the Divine to show you the absolute truth about your particular situation, and reflect on what was shared here.

5 Signs This is NOT your Twin Flame

1. They are not interested in serving the Divine or Humanity. The primary purpose for True Sacred Union by true Hiero-Gammical partners is service and completion of the Christos Mission Template. If the other party in this equation doesn’t seem to want this, or even know about it, or is otherwise chasing 3-D illusions and lower chakra interests(fame, money, sex, popularity, etc), this is NOT your Twin Flame.. Your True Twin Flame will be pretty much on the same page as you, and awakened to the Truth of the reality in which we live, at the very least. Anything else is, as Yeshua said, “Being unequally yoked”, and ultimately will hold YOU back vibrationally and bring you into imbalance. True Hieros Gamos Twinnings or Rod and Staff couplings (as is the True Term for Twin Flames) will always serve in gridwork, healing, bringing forth new innovative creations that benefit and uplift humanity. If your alleged Twin Flame is tied up in the rat race trying to snag the next promotion and could care less about the plight of the world or planet, this is simply not your Twin Flame. Period. Does this mean that they cannot have an awakening and shift in this direction? Absolutely they can, but that has nothing to do with you. This is between them and God/Source.
2. They are not Devoted to you. Sure, there is all sorts of erroneous teaching out there that there is a runner and a chaser and a season where you have to be apart so you can grow and then some magical thing happens and they return. This simply is not true. If you are in an unrequited love where it is evident your feelings are not returned or a situation with someone who is wishy-washy, lukewarm, sometime-y, or shows most of the time that you are not especially important to them, this is not someone holding Krystic Codes of the Divine Masculine or Feminine, but rather someone who is showing you that you need to build stronger boundaries and heal the wounding within that has caused you to think that it makes sense that the most Powerful Love in the World looks like the other party fleeing the other way. Having an open heart to God/Source and Love and drawing someone into your life who is showing that they don’t have the same opening is a sure tell-tale sign that they are not operating from the same frequency and soul embodiment attainment.
3. They are completely oblivious to you and/or the connection. This is a complex situation I see all the time that typically involves an acquaintance or stranger like a neighbor, therapist, or personal trainer who seems friendly and amicable, but outside of that there is no sign in them whatsoever that they see you as the Beloved. In other instances, it is a relationship that ended some time ago and you haven’t contacted or been in touch with the person for years. Often with this situation is intense Twin Flame phenomenon that seems entirely one-sided and usually involves a complex “story” around the situation that includes synchronisities, angel number galore, sex or dreams of being together “in 5D”, stalking their social media, obsessive seeking out Twin Flame psychics and tarot readers to discover what is going on, messages from your guides about the situation or telepathic communication (that they don’t seem to be having on their end), . You begin to think you are crazy and imagining it all and you start spinning out in your mental body. Often there is a dangling carrot element to the situation where your guides or intuition tell you something about an imminent change or something about them, that falls through when you follow up on it and often there is this illusionary reasoning that they are getting it too, but are afraid of the connection or intensity but nothing in reality ever reveals that they “get it” .The reason why they are not “getting it” is because there is nothing to get. Typically in this situation, there is a high level of ungroundedness, self-deception, and/or illusion coming in from the astral realms to keep you obsessed with someone completely unavailable and thinking that this is the love of your life. This is a nefarious trap and indicative of severe spiritual hijack.
4. They are married and/or in another long term relationship and have no interest (as far as you can see) that they are leaving it to be with you. In a day and age where marriage vows are not taken especially serious, we still must remember that any vow or oath taken before the Divine and others is binding and incredibly important. That said, the Divine would never sanction us to be “the other woman” or “the other man” or break up homes and destroy families and cause others to break their vows and oaths to be in a Sacred Partnership with us. In fact, this is the very antithesis of Sacred because it is creating integrity breeches all over the place. When coaching those in this situation, I hear all sorts of explanations and assessments all the time that the wife or other party doesn’t treat them well, or they are not in love with the other party anymore, or the marriage was over quite some time ago, or its a marriage of convenience, etc as some sort of justification. But the truth of it is, the state of the other parties’ other relationship is really not your problem or even your business. If they refuse to leave it to be with you, regardless of what you believe is going on, the facts are that they are still in it, and are not willing to be exclusive with you, regardless of what your story is about how unhappy they are, and it is this fact that you must integrate and launch your decisions from. In fact, being “unavailable” at the time of meeting is the surest sign that this is not your Twin Flame because the prominent qualities that factor into true Sacred Union is Devotion to one another and the sanctity of the relationship and Commitment to the Divine Mission. Neither of these is even possible in a love triangle.
5. The situation remains the same or worsens no matter how much inner work you do. This is another variation of Number 1. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how much inner work you do, how much you clear your childhood wounds and release on behalf of the ancestry. If the other party is not engaging in the same level of introspection, healing, and taking responsibility for ones wounds and vulnerable places there will never be any real lasting change, especially if the situation is super dysfunctional and toxic. You cannot work on yourself and as you do it heals your Twin Flame, as the popular teaching in Twin Flame circles proposes. It is simply not true. No one gets a free ride on the ascension path, and we are all required to take responsibility for our own healing and vibration. To think it goes any other way, is hallmark co-dependent thinking where YOU believe you are responsible for the emotional health and well being of others so you take on everyone’s crap as if it is your responsibility. It is not. In fact, as an ascending being who chooses to continue forward with someone who is still knee deep in their dysfunction, what typically ends up happening is that the other party, rather than establishing an organic connection to God/Source, will simply begin to siphon from you rather than Self-Source to God and you will take on full responsibility for the emotional and spiritual health of the relationship, which becomes exhausting over time, especially if many of the problems within the relationship are being caused by the unhealed trauma in the other party. The primary reason for looping around is you are healing while the other person is remaining the same. Much of the time, this is the sole reason for the frustration many feel on this path.

In closing, it is time for those of us on the Organic Ascension Timeline to let go of that which keeps us locked down in lower bandwidths, and in spin cycle futility loops in situations that cause misery, discouragement, and confusion (while all the while thinking this constitutes something Magical and Divine).

When we think we are in a miraculous Sacred Relationship, but the sacredness only seems to be happening in our minds but never the actual situation, there comes a time when we have to be quite honest with ourselves about whether or not the trajectory we have chosen truly serves us.

There comes a time when we must question what we believe and if it is working, or not. For one of the surest signs we are not on our organic timeline, is things are not working.

We don’t have to martyr ourselves out for the prize and promise of Union and God doesn’t expect us to.

We can be liberated by the truth and in doing so, make space in our life for True Sacred Union.

Or something even better.

Interested in going deeper? Check out The Sacred Union Template Alchemy Program, or book a Collapsing the Twin Flame Interface Session (which also has a quiz you can take to see if you are in a False Twin Flame Interfacing System) today! Or check out my free Resurrection and Return of the Divine Masculine call!